Seems the trouble never ends here as my younger dog, Blanca, has a cist on her tail. She hits it while coming in from the yard and it bursts. Another vet emergency. But to take my mind off this crap, I revisited “The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood”. It was 1980. Xaviera Hollander became a part of pop culture history when she was busted for running a house of prostitution in New York City.
Xaviera Hollander was born in The Dutch East Indies an spent the first years of her life in a Japanese prison camp. She was a secretary for the Dutch Consulate in New York. She quit that job in 1968 and became a call girl, earning $1000 a night. She opened her own house and was NYC’s leading madame. In 1971 she was arrested and deported.
She wrote a best selling book in 1971, “The Happy Hooker”. She also wrote an advise column in Penthouse Magazine, “Call Me Madam”, that lasted 35 years. She appeared in a film in 1975. “My Pleasure is My Business”. She has been depicted in five films. She didn’t appear in the three “Happy Hooker” films. She was played by Lynn Redgrave, Joey Heatherton and Martine Beswick.
My barmaid friend, Lisa, was a huge fan of hers. So she cons me into taking her. Not sure of what theater we saw it in, might have been the Apollo. Martine Beswick is top billed as Xaveira Hollander. Chris Lemmon, Adam West, Phil Silvers, and Richard Deacon are the rest of the cast.
Mogul, William B. Warkoff ( Silvers) needs a hit. He wants to make Hollander’s book a movie. Lionel Lamely (West) is supposed to make this happen. Producer Joseph Rottman (Deacon), and his son Robby (Lemon) talk her up.
Xaviera is wined and dined by Lamely in a scene that is pretty explicit for a softcore film. At one point she is going down on Lamely, prompting a guy several rows behind us to shout “ she’s blowing Batman“. That led to more high school shouts like “ Show her your Bat Cock and drive it in her Bat Cave”. Well, I was amused. Nothing like the 42nd crowd to add that back alley ambience to a movie.
Anyway, Hollander isn’t happy with the offer. She decides to make her own movie based on Robby’s script. How to pay for it? Simple, the barter system. She pays off in pussy. But Warkoff won’t be denied and sets them up for a bust. Hollander vows revenge. There is going to be a ceremony to honor Warkoff.
Xaviera rents three adjoining rooms. She seduces both Rottman and Lamely, agreeing to meet them in rooms at different times. The two men wind up in bed together. Xavier’s girls steal their clothes. The two have to dress in drag to get out of the hotel. A drunk hits on Lamely. Lamely throws a punch, but hit’s a cop as the drunk ducks. Big scandal in the paper the next day.
Warkoff cuts a deal with Hollander, give him a finished picture in 30 days and get 5 million dollars. If it isn’t in a certain theater on that date, Warkoff owns the picture. Of course he hires thugs to steal it and the chase is on. After some crazy driving, the reels get to the theater and Warkoff has to pay.
The film is a lot of fun and Martine isn’t shy about getting naked. A lot of softcore sex scenes in the film and all have hot women. Martine I had met several times over the years and is really cool. She is the only actress to play a Bond girl twice. Chris Lemmon said it was a blast working with her as they were friends before they did this film.
This was one of the last films for Phil Silvers. Phil was the star of TV’s Sgt Bilko. Phil, as Chris related, just wanted to make people laugh. His character as a gambler/con artist was close to what he actually was, a chronic gambler. Phil left us at age 74 after a heart attack in 1985. Richard Deacon was Mel Cooley on The Dick Van Dyke Show. He was also in Leave it To Beaver, “The Birds” and “Piranha”. He died in 1984 at age 62. Adam West will always be Batman. He stayed busy doing TV and convention appearances until his death in 2017 at age 88.
Fun fact: West was in the Three Stooges Film, “The Outlaws is Coming “ in 1964.